QUICK! I need input on my personal statement.

This is FAR from complete but I need input on the direction that it's taking.

My parent’s sometimes tell me a story of my young childhood – I drew them a crayon picture of a storefront that read, “Joshua’s Love Bakery”. I told them that I wanted to bake bread for poor people and hand out the loaves on the street.

During high school, I was fortunate enough to meet a professional in the medical field who shaped many of my current views of medicine. I had always been a bright student with a keen interest in science, and my family physician, Dr. Grant, suggested that I join him for his shifts at the local Emergency Center at our small town hospital. He allowed me to wear scrubs, carry his clipboard and address patients with him. He showed me basic medical procedure and had a wonderful bedside manner. The care he showed for his patients left a lasting impression on me. But it was when Dr. Grant saved a young boy from a near fatal brain hemorrhage that I’m sure I was most influenced.

I was shadowing Dr. Grant one slow Monday evening, when a 16 year old boy was brought into the emergency room by his mother. He had not picked his sister up from school and could not remember what he did all afternoon. The boy showed no signs of injury or illness. Over a two hour period, we asked the young man a series of questions, ordered tests, and urged the boy’s family to contact those that might know more about his injury. Finally, as Dr. Grant sat with the Nurse Radiologist, he noticed something strange on the computer monitor. He pointed it out to me, and quickly ordered a helicopter. Our small hospital had no facilities for brain surgery, and he was carried to a large children’s hospital about 40 miles away. The boy, as we later learned from his mother, had been playing baseball and hit his head sliding into a base. The broken blood vessel would have caused permanent brain damage, or even killed him, had Dr. Grant not found it that night. I was only 11 months older than this boy.

I first applied to colleges with the idea that I would enjoy research biology. “The lab” had always been extremely fascinating to me. During my experience at Marquette University, my education in history led me to explore the world. I focused my studies on diverse cultures, especially women’s history in Africa and Asia. I researched political and religious themes in the Xhosa of South Africa and developed theses based on constituents’ personal experiences. It was this method of historiography that really spurred my interest in world health and infectious disease. I have always been interested in world events, and have an enthusiastic desire to travel.
When I prioritize my interests, there are always a few that far exceed the others. I want to help people directly. I am eager to make a difference.