Bring it back down.

So I'm getting the hang of html editing and embedding and other various functionalities necessary to blogging and otherwise communicating with random, silent voyeurs on the web. So I've decided to test my luck. Plus, I've got never-before-seen video that has the potential to crack up at least three people that might happen upon it. And finally, because Compy 386 is soon to be replaced and upgraded to MainframeMegaUltiPlex 2k6, I'm taking my camera everywhere I go and using the post-it method more often. Just in case this whole "biotechnology/pharmaceutical" craze ever falls through, I'll have a back-up career on the internet.

Good luck to me.

S.U.M.I.T.



ps The caption on this video should read: Oakland Gyros. Late. Yes, that's me with long hair and a boob-like purse. Yes, Mike, it's recording. Yes Sumit, we do know the rest.

Ingenious, Creative, Practical and Simply Preposterous

So Janette has raised the bar. Great gift. I'll recount one of my favorite stories...

A traveler found himself pulling an all-nighter in an airport. He wrote his flight information on a Post-it(c) Note, along with a plea to wake him up in time, and stuck it on his shirt. It worked - twice! He dozed off after one traveler woke him. The second person made sure he was up.

By the way, I'd just like to give a creepy shout-out to the reason I started blogging... Plus you should just keep up with this guy. Anyone who snorts 151 is automatically good in my book. (ps If my boss asks anyone, I had food poisoning today. It was the salmon salad.)

Ok fine.

If I can't hold the ice cream box, I probably shouldn't have driven. It's =a new rule. Also new rule i f the keys dpuble somnehow. Don[t post. I will erase this as ssoonn as it's remembered.

Drivel

Begin great story.

So we're sitting around the barbeque pit on Wednesday evening, enjoying new company, new roommates, new friends and family getting older by the second. My step-mother, who is as gracious and sweet as one could please, has decided to jump in on the telling of raunchy jokes. This produced the following dialogue.

Lee: "Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?"

ALL: "Dunno."

Lee: "The guy that can carry two coffees and six dougnuts!"

(Uproarious laughter, except for Sumit.)

Sumit: (walking out of the house at the last second, to his credit, he didn't hear the first part of the joke)
"What? I don't get it."

Dad: "My delicate flower told a dirty joke. Don't worry about it"

Sumit: "No no! I want to hear it! Explain it to me!"

Lee: (without skipping a beat) "Sorry, Sumit. I can't explain a six doughnut joke to a two doughnut guy..."

(more uproarious laughter followed by an embarrased Lee having to explain the joke to Sumit. Followed then by an even more embarrased Sumit apologizing to Lee for making her explain it. Followed then by my brother, my dad, Ed, Rohit, Ragu, me, and Sumit's buddies from work having to dust each other off and try to stop crying.)

Dad:( in between the wheezing) "Eh he... hee... Sumit... My delicate flower just ripped a hole in your ass."


End story


Today's list of songs that might be cool to cover as 90's alternative rock songs.















Yes that's Michael Jackson and Fleetwood Mac. It's called creativity, people. Keep up.




And that brings me to my closing point for Friday,

Just because you CAN, doesn't mean that you SHOULD. ( Originally thought while driving and wondering if my roommates had kept the air conditioning on all day, but can be applied to any consumptive situation, like driving across a parking lot to get to HQ, taking a Jager Bomb, or attacking Third World countries ( George! Naughty!).

Have a kick ass night.

Two Things

ONE
It has come to my attention that I can no longer choose between an active social life and good personal hygiene. It will have to become, and remain, a delicate, constant balance. If it does not, I feel, nature tends to rectify the inequality.


This revelation came to my attention while admiring my shaggy hair at work. And because it was such an epiphany, I wanted to record it for my blog, because sharing is caring and all that jazz right? So I pulled out my trusty palm pilot/blackberry. (AKA Post-it notes.)

TWO

While I was frantically trying to record my sporadic genius onto blue tacky paper, it also came to my attention that my (and I'm not alone here, people) wish to share and be shared with over the internet ( read : OkCupid, Blogger, MySpace, Friendster, and a million other things that I'm not cool enough to know about) comes form some innate desire to be where I am not. I write to random people that I may or may not know are reading so I can show that I am NOT CONTENT with my place in life and that I strive for greater, farther reaching things. I want to change my environment. I want to change my surroundings.

... And then I ran out of room on my Post-it.

But the whole experience gave me a really great idea. I'm going to invent a machine that records my voice and then plays it back to me so that I don't have have to write everything on post-its.

Except, post-its are kinda cool. I like the color. If I were to use the post-its,

Joshie Rotten

I have a new t-shirt.

Actually its not new, it's from Christmas. BUt I wore it last night and I'm proud. It is a picture of Jewish Egg Bread and it says, "Holla". Awesome. Gatta love Urban Outfitters. Even if it is The Man.

So I roll into work this morning looking like an Asprin commercial. This is after an incredible night of drinking, fighting, and saving the world. There was a bit of motherhen-ing involved...

"Rohit, don't cry. Sumit didn't mean to call your mother that."
"No, Sumit. Pouring beer on the booth is bad. Clean it up and apoligize to that nice bouncer. "
"Yes, Jaci you look gorgeous. "
"I'm sorry, Jaci. This isn't Vegas. You are no longer VIP. Drink your Pabst."
"No, Jaci. Alcohol is never free. Don't take drinks from strangers."


I think 'saving the world should be the new catch phrase for 'going out'.

Watcha doin' tonight?

Drinking.


OR


Watcha doin' tonight?


Saving the world.





What I did at work today: ( aka "Proof that mindless, menial tasks are not just for computers anymore.")

• wrote 878 zeros.
• drew a perfect line through 8 zeros.
• initialed, dated and rewrote 8 zeros.
• counted the zeros I'd written.
• counted to a hundred 14 times.
• organized 2 packets ( which involves agar gels, huge incubators, and ridiculous amounts of time and patience. Remember those two-sided 4500 piece puzzles that had a giant picture of a monochrome purple circle? It's kinda like doing one of those, except instead of a picture, there is a horrible bacteria smell. )
• found a plate stuck in the back of the incubator marked 4/3. Someone is time traveling, or its been there for 363 days. It looks like God sneezed on it. Before he met Moses.

Gatta go save the world.