e-evolution.

--copied from a myspace blog-- Go read it there and then add me add me add me.


So I've just had an epfiany. It occured during my typing of a reply to a myspace message from someone that, under all other circumstances, I shouldn't have ever heard from again. (All other circumstances = No myspace.com). The idea that popped into my head was exactly that...
There was a time when certain people that you may have been aquaintences with (or known as the guy with the weird beard or the chick with the huge forehead) were supposed to slide slowly off your radar after you move away or stop going to the same coffee shop. If you saw them in a bar or at a bookstore, because of your no-first-name-but-recognizable-aquaintenceship, you might have the inclination to walk up and say hello and ask them what book they are reading. ( This approach, has in the past backfired, as everyone has experienced I think in the dreaded, "They don't recognize you,", or if either party is holding pornography.) However, if you did not see them after a period of time, these people were just gone. Not usually missed, either!! Not that they were bad aqaintinces or smelled or you owed them money... no! It's just that you didn't know them well enough in the first place to warrant setting up a meeting to see them again and in fact would have never even said goodbye, had they not brought it up awkwardly at the bar when you told them you were graduating/moving/finallygettingajob! Its the natural order of things! Certain people that are your friends - stay - your friends because you make a concerted effort to keep them as your friends! It's survival of the fittest! The spots that were once filled by casual aquaintences are now filled by newer, more casual aquaintences!! It's natural selection, honey! Weirdbeard Guy didn't make the cut! Clan of the Cave Bear is out!! You'll never see them again and probably won't ever remember they existed except for their exceptional names. (Which, technically, you gave to them in a fit of drunken hilarity. So really, you are only remembering them because of your off-handed association with their easily recognizable faults - a defense mechanism perpetrated by your ego to inferiortize them. Others, more close to you are spared this because you get to see the good side of each of their faults and your id justifies and forgives imperfections. Its called friendship.) Close friends stay close and casual friends stay casual and all those other people slowly slip into the background like white noise, only periodically to slip into the conscience through a conversation about the place you bumped into them a lot or a smell that reminds you of beard cream. Perhaps a sex dream containing every person in your graduating class. This has previously continued until each college socialite is just like their parents, with two best friends that live forever away who are only seen once every five years and every other spots being filled by allthepeopletheyworkwith. It's happened this way for generations. It's the way G-d intended. It happened to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It happened to Moses. It happened to Jesus. It happened to Arisotole. It happened to Charles Darwin. It happened to Bill Clinton. And it was supposed to happen to YOU.

But no. myspace had to fuck it all up. Now, once we have known someone long enough for a casual conversation, it undeniably means that we've known someone long enough to look them up on myspace (Which, by itself, is a hilarious social enigma, if you ask me.) And once someone is your friend on myspace...it though to get rid of them. Our egos are so fragile that the justification necessary to "Remove from Friends" is ridiculous compared to the will-power needed to 'fudge' and Add someone you never really liked in the first place. But now, you get to hear everything they have to say about their favorite drink, where they last were kissed, if they are a cat or a dog or a monkey or want a monkey or HAVE a monkey or just got finished eating monkey or if their last 24 hours had NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MONKEYS. You will still hear about it. And this is all from the guy, that naturally, under any other circumstances, you would've never heard from again.
conclusion: Myspace is ruining the world. In fact, we are all headed for total social meltdown. I'm talking orgies in the street, here people. for real.

I gatta get back to work.